Denzel Washington and I Finally Have Something in Common

Celebrities are *Kendrick voice* not like us! They want us to think that they are, so they seem more relatable, but it’s difficult to relate to someone who can see their face on a new billboard a couple of times a year. I will never know what it’s like to be recognized in other countries. No one will wait outside the hotel I might stay in to ensure they snag a picture of me in my sweats. I’m not paying one of my cousins $250,000 a year to mow my lawn (to be clear, that’s a Tracy Jordan joke).

Regardless, celebrities are people too! They go through ups and downs like the rest of us. Everybody poops. There is common ground to be found. But, basic human emotions and bodily functions are easy to highlight. Occasionally, something feels so specific that it’s almost odd. I’m sure some people were astounded that Henry Cavill loved Warhammer as much as they did. A bevy of celebs revealed themselves as World of Warcraft obsessives. Now, I’m shocked to find myself with a similarity to the Greatest Actor of All Time Denzel Washington.

I was raised Catholic. That lasted until I got a job in high school and had to work when we would usually go to church (thank Zod). While I no longer consider myself religious, I have officiated four weddings. It’s a lot of fun and guarantees you some cake. Also, you get to help two people make a wonderful vow of love that (ideally) lasts forever. It also took me five minutes and seven dollars to get ordained. It’s been fun and now gives me a similarity to the aforementioned Greatest Actor of All Time.

Denzel was recently baptized at 70. Not only that, he was granted a ministry license for the State of New York, which means he can later get ordained. Now, while I was ordained through the Universal Life Church (praise be), there are no direct religious connections on my end. The ULC is specifically multi-denominational. However, the State of New York has different rules. You have to be registered as a minister to officiate weddings there, so I had to go to Town Hall and sign a big book that made me a Minister in New York; a book that will, presumably, also hold Denzel Washington’s signature.

Washington seems much more thrilled about embracing his beliefs this way than I was (and more power to him). What matters is that I can now say “just like Denzel” when I tell people I’m a minister in the State of New York. Hell, I might get shirts that say, “Ask me how I’m like Denzel Washington.” I gotta lean into this as much as possible.