America Crosses Its Fingers, Knocks on Wood as Biden Announces His Reelection Bid

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | April 25, 2023 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | April 25, 2023 |

Joe Biden — every Democrat’s second choice, although no one can identify a better first choice — announced his 2024 reelection bid this morning. It was not unexpected. He probably will not face a legitimate challenger in the primaries (Robert Kennedy is not a legitimate challenger). Here’s Biden’s reelection announcement video:

Every generation has a moment where they have had to stand up for democracy. To stand up for their fundamental freedoms. I believe this is ours.

That’s why I’m running for reelection as President of the United States. Join us. Let’s finish the job. https://t.co/V9Mzpw8Sqy pic.twitter.com/Y4NXR6B8ly

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) April 25, 2023

Joe’s a good guy, he’s done a fine job, and we’ll be lucky to have him for another term. The problem is that he is the most electable Democrat and yet not a sure thing. I know it would be nice to have a slam dunk candidate every four years, but that is particularly true when he’s likely running against Trump again, whose only impediments to his fascist ambitions are his ego, his laziness, and his lack of intelligence. It’d be nice to have a generational candidate like Barack Obama every single time out, but we’ll take what we get.

I trust that Biden can hold off the unpopular Donald Trump, but I sure wish we didn’t have to worry about it. I wish we didn’t have to worry about the health of an 80-year-old candidate. His age is Biden’s biggest obstacle, and there’s little the best campaign advisors on the planet can do to hide that. Fortunately, he’s only two years older than his likely opponent, who also happens to be crazier than a shithouse rat.

So, let’s all cross our fingers and knock on wood in the hopes that Joe Biden’s campaign is steady and drama-free enough to allow him to cruise to another 7-million vote margin victory over the Republican candidate.