'Alien: Romulus' Really Was Even Worse Than I Expected

As any fan of horror films—or cinema in general, really—I’ve got a huge amount of love for Ridley Scott’s original Alien movie. I struggle to think of many other ‘genre films’ that are more universally adored than the 1979 sci-fi horror masterpiece. I certainly don’t know anyone personally, and can’t think of anyone professionally off the top of my head, who doesn’t admire what Scott and his team managed to pull off almost half a century ago. Exhilarating yet suffocating, grounded in relatable humanity, with astounding set design, music, and direction, and oh so patient in its execution, Alien is in many ways—like its titular creature—the perfect creation.

It’s no surprise, then, that it spawned a franchise. James Cameron’s excellent direct sequel Aliens aside, however, it’s not exactly been a treasure trove of quality that’s followed in the original film’s wake. This is especially true of the most recent entries in the series. Despite this trend, I always stupidly have hope. A part of me just so badly wants a new Alien entry to be good, that I abandon reason and foolishly let myself believe that even a fraction of the magic could be recaptured. So it was with Alien: Romulus, which, despite Jason’s excellent review, a part of me kept hoping that it might be just good enough to satisfy the Giger-flavored craving. Oh how wrong I was. Derivative, boring, and devoid of personality almost as much as its zero-dimensional characters, it managed to be fail in almost every way that Scott’s Alien succeeds. David Jonsson infused his android with what personality he could, but his performance aside, there really was nothing here to praise.

Writing about it now, I feel my stress levels begin to rise to unhealthy levels, so I’m going to hand over to Ryan George and his Pitch Meeting series to illustrate just a few ways that Alien: Romulus managed to be even worse than expected: