If you’ve been in your relationship for quite some time, you might be thinking about moving in with your S/O, but is it time yet? Moving in is a big commitment, and you need to make sure you’re ready.
Here are 10 signs it might not be the best option to move in together. You’ll “know” when it feels right, but if you feel a little conflicted and have reservations, here are some ways to know whether you’re ready to take the plunge.
1. You feel pressured to move in.
That’s a big no. You shouldn’t feel pressured to have to move in, you should do it when both of you are ready. If you feel forced, you should wait a bit longer.
2. You’ve never had a major argument with your partner.
It’s good to have gone through a heated argument or disagreement with your partner BEFORE moving in together, so you have an idea of how to handle a serious disagreement in the future. Arguments are bound to happen, but you can’t just get in your car and go back to your own apartment now that you’re living together. You have to learn to deal with it together, as hard as that may be, and if you can’t get that right, it’s not time to move in yet.
3. You’re not ready to give up your current routine.
Love your freedom? Love going to the gym after work and not being asked what time you’ll be home? Love going out for drinks with the gals, without your boyfriend hovering? Make sure you’re okay with letting some of your independence go before moving in with your S/O.
4. You enjoy your personal space.
Not one to share? Living together might not be for you, at least right now.
5. You don’t really “know what you are.”
You should have some kind of idea about where the relationship is headed and what the definition of it is. If you’re unsure if you guys are actually “together,” not planning on staying together in the long-term future, or are just kind of “winging it,” living together might not be the best option right now.
6. It’s for financial reasons.
NO. Don’t move in for the wrong reasons, i.e. trying to cut rent costs. Sure, splitting the cost of living with someone else makes sense financially, but in the long term, it could cause a lot of problems and it’s the wrong reason to live together. You both should want to live together, not feel forced to because of reasons involving money. Where is the love in that equation?
7. You haven’t talked about expectations.
You both need to know what’s expected of the other in terms of responsibilities, routines, schedules, privacy, finances, and many other aspects. Are there things that neither of you should touch? (i.e. the bottom drawer, which has your diary in it?). Make sure you discuss what’s hands-off and what weight each person has to pull before making the move.
8. There are signs of violence in your relationship.
Never a good sign. Ever. If there is physical violence you don’t want to feel “trapped” in a place or situation that you can’t get out of in the event that things get dangerous or you feel threatened. This is a sign you should exit the relationship entirely.
9. You can’t be yourself around your partner.
You should be able to be your true self with your partner, however weird that might be. Want to lay around half naked and read a book? You should be able to. Want to play video games in your boxers? You should be able to. If you both respect each other enough to accept the other wholly, including each other’s flaws, then it’s go-time. Otherwise, don’t move in yet.
10. You think it might “fix” the relationship.
Just like having a baby doesn’t guarantee fixing a marriage, living together won’t guarantee fixing a relationship. When you move in, you want to make sure both are comfortable, financially stable, and emotionally ready, and doing it for the sake of desperately “fixing” the relationship, might add stress and isn’t the right reason to move in together. Give it some time.
You Might Also Like
5 Things That Should Not Be Happening In A Healthy Relationship
How To Deal With Life After An Emotionally Abusive Relationship